happiness

its been ages since the last post.

i'm currently having a holiday for 3 month. tapi cuti ni nak habis dah, naik uia balik 10/9 nanti. so this might be my last post for this year? idk.

the title says "happiness", as what it says there today's post is about happiness. though it might have some dark element in it too, but bear with it.

on july, i had my third depression. but this time, it was only for 3 weeks. ke sebulan 2 minggu? idk which is it, but it happened. at the same period too, chester bennington died due to suicide. usually suicide was caused by depression so, at that time there were people who keep on posting on social media about the harm of depression. saying that we need to be kind to everyone and bla bla bla.

if you were thinking that i'm just saying that i'm having a depression and not actually experienced it. buatlah, idc what's in your head though.

yesterday, my friend told me that the day before she was depressed. so i said to her that depressed wont stay for only a day or two and minor depression takes a whole 2 weeks. she might felt offend bcs aku macam cakap "kau tak depressed pun sebenarnya" without thinking of her sadness or circumstances. but i'm saying a fact. she replied an acceptance sentence. tapi aku tak rasa dia terima pun apa aku cakap. when i asked her did she had a suicidal thoughts, feeling useless, felt lethargic for no reason, change of appetite abruptly. and she said there's no such thing, she only felt like crying. for god sake, depression wont make you felt like crying from day one, its taking its time slowly to break yourself.

i know there is a lot of people out there thought that having a depression is cool. and i know it myself, cause i've been there too. my advice is, don't come near depression. it's killing you silently. don't make your happiness turn into a massive disaster just because you want to experience it. as long as you still have those happy moments in your life cherish it. don't do things that can make you unhappy or make you feel useless. bcs once you experienced a depression you can't stop it easily.

depression, is like a cancer. it can relapse if you're not strong enough to fight for yourself.